Well, anyone who has seen steam lately has probably spent upwards of 20 bucks on awesome games that are just now becoming cheaper – steam decided that a smaller profit margin is better than no margin at all – and the typical ‘it’s a steal!!’ mentality takes over. I am ashamed that I have falled prey to this insideous tactic and bought, god help me, ‘Mr. Robot’
Let me set up a format for each game here:
Now, after seeing it as a deal, the grey line slashed epically through the previous price I said to myself: 4.99$/1.99$/7.99$? I’ve spent more on food! And I tried the demo/previous game from them/something simliar to it/etc.
Well lets start:
Cogs: yes, I love puzzle games! Except I don’t. What the hell am I thinking? yes it was an interesting 10 minutes for 1.99$ but that’s money I could have spent on hookers and blow.
JUDGEMENT: Pass.
Mass Effect: I’m certain there’s a million different reviews out there, but suffice to say, bioware is one of my fav. companies, and I love this game. I started playing briefly on the 360 when my roommates brother left the game at our house and loved it, then forgot about it for a while, and now I have it on my comp. I loved KOTOR I and II so this pretty much the same, minus lightsabers, plus more guns and FPS/ThirdPersonShooter, and you get to take advantage of the NPCS in naughty ways. (still working my way there, however) if you remember an age ago when this game first came out it was possible to have lesbian relations with one of the characters, causing various pundits to be upset for about a week. Now biowares newest game, dragon age (going to play that eventually) allows for male/male gay couplings, which elicted the same reaction for about a week and then everyone went back to not caring.
Verdict: if you haven’t beaten it yet (i’m sorry I lived under a rock for a few years) def. get it. I think it’s down to 5$, how sweet is that?
Mr. Robot: I liked MoonPod’s one other game… Starscape. I liked the demo, Liked the ‘idea’ of an RPG with traditional platform/puzzler (lets move some crates!) BUT there is a vital problem with this: the CONTROLS. I have very rarely Rage-quit a single player game. usually I’ll put it down, come back, and beat it. I’ve actually Rage-uninstalled this game. the controls are akin to describing the actions to you want to do to your drunk friend as they play. I can’t count how many ‘room-restarts’ I had to do because my robotic clogs slipped on the floor like it was ice, inching the crate a HALF A FUCKING INCH to far and now I can’t get behind it to push it out and fix it. the crates sometimes snap into place, but more often than not, whilst ice-skating around you’re going to fuck up the crate placement. Jumping retarded, it makes me hate gravity with a firey burning passion until I remember that this game was developed in outspace where the game developers actually had no idea of what earth gravity was like and jumping is hap-hazard and often ends with you in a pool of electro-coolant that causes you to blow up, for the 8th time in 5 minutes. while being able to sort of navigate in the air, during the hang-time is nice (I imagine little robo-jet-boosters that are invisible) but ultimately infuriating when trying to make the longest possible jumps if you do not jump at the exact last second before the edge. Lastly, the RPG fighting elements leave something to be desired. Namely graphics that weren’t cutting edge cyberpunk in the 90’s. Having a wireframe model of the normal hero only a different color doesn’t do it for me. the bad guys all look like amorphous blobs and the fighting is slow and clunky. (After each battle I ask myself why I don’t split my time between FinalFantasy and some other platform/puzzler instead) the graphics aren’t bad in the ‘real world’ if you love looking at the same tile set for the next couple hours. Eventually I started crossing my eyes and looking for magic-eye pictures. but then I missed my jump and landed in the electrified coolant (not water, the game assured me it was ‘corrosive coolant’)
VERDICT: if it were $1.99 and I had already beaten mass effect, maybe. Otherwise, Pass
Multiwinia: Holy shit did I love Darwinia, so I thought 1.99$ for an expansion pack of more puzzles? hella yea. Bought it and turns out it’s like a multiplayer-expansion, which is amusing for the first 10 minutes – the game play and controls are def. an improvement over the last game (which was still pretty awesome) I will def. go back to it, and the new game modes are intuitive, innovative, and now you can get flame-thrower turrets. so yes. Although apparently there are only 6 people playing the game world-wide. so whatever. the AI is more than capable of raping you, so don’t worry. I should mention that anything must be SUPER compelling as a single player game or I won’t play. I love multiplayer games that are snazzy.
Verdict: for 1.99$? Maybe! Do you like wierd, off the wall type stuff and medium-fast paced RTS elements? (check it out to see if it’s for you first) maybe even trick your friends into thinking that steam and multiwinia are a porn site and getting them to buy it as well. Maybe i’ll ‘gift’ it to my brother, brother in law, and sister’s boyfriend and guilt them into playing it with me.
Torchlight: Yes, a diablo clone to tide me over until Blizzard finishes D3! Actually made by a few of the guys who were a part of Bliz North, they decided to include all of the elements of diablo2 (including some sound effects) trim the classes down, remove the synergy effects from the trees, and give you a pet who can run to town to sell your crap(What an awesome move. I love the pet) it’s solid, the engine is GREAT looking, but it’s single player. I just advanced a bit and lost interest – I guess all of my time in WOW before I gave it up made me really, really want to play multiplayer with people. I know Runic Games is coming out with a MMORPG (or just multiplayer version?) of it, and I’ll pick that up when it comes out (and hopefully not let it destroy me like wow did) but Maybe I’ll go back to it?
Verdict: Yes, it’s what? 5$ now? If you want a single player way to while the hours, waiting for Diablo 3 or Starcraft 2 to come out, go grab it.
Trine: A very slick, nice looking, pretty snazzy physics-game platformer – Imagine Lost vikings, with three characters with different abilities…I would have liked a little bit more variety in the enemies (I haven’t gotten to far yet) since bats and skeletons are old hat. Hell, I saw a skeleton at starbucks getting a fucking Mocha Latte. they’re passe now, sorry. And I love bats, I feel bad having to kill them, now who will eat all the insects they subsisted upon? Only video games can make me feel like an eco-asshole for slaying virtual bats. Thanks, Trine. Aside from a few random glitches and lame voice acting (it’s indie though so meh) it’s fun, fast paced, and there are usually more than one way to beat the puzzles. I still have yet to try playing it with others, but I imagine it might be amusing, perhaps?
Verdict: Not bad, maybe worth the 5$ if you haven’t had a good platformer recently and haven’t gotten/beaten Mass Effect yet.
So there you have it. 6 reviews for you. Anything I missed?
Peaceout
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