Guys,
How to go from feeling shitty and not accomplishing anything to feeling good and making progress:
What works for me
Recently been doing a lot of thinking, and one of my faults is that I don’t open up. Well, unless I’m incredibly drunk. So I just wanted to get out there and put some Paul-istic info out for you and how to start turning things around -
Turn Around: You can do it too.
1.) Locus of Control: Some background on external vs internal
External Locus of Control: People believe that other forces control them and their circumstances. A weak, disempowering stance…
“I can’t find a job due to this economy. I can’t leave my current Job/Relationship/Home/Move out because whatever I find won’t ever be as good as I have it now”
Internal Locus of Control: People believe that they control their destiny and their surroundings. A sanity-reinforcing standpoint, confidence building
“This shit sucks, but dammit, I’m going to try harder, stop slacking off and go out there and kick ass. I will find a better job, I will find a better relationship, I will find a better home because I will try harder and use my talents.”
Which sounds better? Who would you rather hang out with? Someone who is constantly blaming everything around them or someone who is taking control of their life and situation?
2.)Goals: Doing something everyday makes it easier.
Write down your goals. no, seriously, every single person I’ve talked to who comes off as ‘motivated’ or at least just not ’slacker’ has goals. I’ve adopted this too, just write down your top 5, every day before bed. You CAN spare 5 minutes before your head hits the pillow right? You can place a notebook next to your bed, and just scratch that down? Then move it to 5 goals when you wake up and 5 when you go to bed.
“What the fuck will this do for me?” Guess what, this loads those thoughts into your subconscious like a clip of kickass into the gun that is your life. Eventually it’ll become almost muscle memory, and you’ll be amazed at what you’ll start to notice, you’ll see patterns that lead to job opportunities, you’ll start being able to make long term plans, you’ll be able to resist short term temptations for bigger long term payoffs. When you have something kicking around in your head 24/7 you will be amazed at what sort of ‘coincidences’ just so happen to pop up.
“I call bullshit. That’s just confirmation Bias/whatever” Well, if a placebo cures your fever every time you get one, would you still pop that sugar pill when you get a fever? Try it yourself, you have nothing to loose except 5 minutes a day, perhaps 10. I’m certain you’ve wasted that time doing less productive things. (A note from personal experience: give this method a few days to start churning though, and write good goals)
2.5.)Good Goals: Use the machinery properly, it’ll work. Wack it with a wrench and you’ll get nothing.
Present Tense: I have/I am/I own
Time frame: By May 10, 2010
Accountable: Check back and see how you’re doing!
Repeat from memory: Don’t look at the previous day’s goals, start each day from scratch – if it’s important enough, you’ll carry it over without having to check back!
Example:
“I weigh less than 250lbs by Dec 31st, 2010″
I’ve sort of been using Dec 31st, 2010 as a catch all, and I just recently broke the 245 mark by joining the local swim club at the YMCA and eating lots of fruits/veggies – it’s EASIER to make the right decisions with this thought kicking around in there 24/7 – Subway or a sandwich at home? I haven’t been under 250, let alone 260 since I started College. Ex: Well, subway I know is less healthier, and my weight is important, I’ll take the time and put in the effort to get what I want… etc. But I’ve KNOWN this for YEARS and had this goal for years, but never actually ‘wrote it out’ so I never actually put effort into it, it just slipped my mind, constantly…
“I have a job I enjoy by Feb 28th, 2010″
I started writing this daily back in December ‘09 when I was dissatisfied with my job at Beaumont and they told me that I was due to get my job cut any moment. I revealed this to my family and facebook, and I think terry mentioned it to Joel, and Joel told me about the Datacenter job, and a few interviews and months later, here I am, in literally the best job I’ve ever had. This also overlaps with the next:
3.) Ask. Ask and you will receive -
Some of you might start to realize that A lot of these concepts have been around, and have been said about a million times by other people, it’s because they work IF YOU PRACTICE THEM. for the longest time that was my disconnect, I’d read, understand, vocalize, but not practice these. I’d write my goals once and forget about it for a month. I’d sign up for the gym and only go 3x a month. Self improvement is the same way…
Ask your friends, ask your work colleagues, ask the cashier at the random place you buy things.
4.) Cheating – learning during downtime [OPTIONAL]
For the purposes of education, if you wanted to say, grab Peerblock and utorrent, and then get audiobooks from piratebay.org, (totally legal audio books, of course) or grab video lectures and rip the audio or lectures of stuff that interests you (for me it’s been self-improvement, psychology, productivity stuff) I find it’s an amusing way to pass the long drives, or kill time during workouts.
5.) Further Reading – [OPTIONAL]
Does this self-improvement stuff interest you? I HIGHLYHIGHLYHIGHLY recommend Steve Pavlina’s web site/book/pod casts (all but the book is free) (The Law of Attraction How to Stop Complaining How You Give Your Power Away)
and the Crimson Curtain (Laws of Darkworking) don’t let the name scare you, just take it at the personal development level
You might be able to find at the local library of Robert Greene’s stuff (40 laws of Power, 33 Strategies of War) for situational help in specific ‘I need to win’ scenarios…
There’s lots of free info out there, written by talented, intelligent people – look for it.
IN CLOSING:
1.) Internal Locus: You control stuff. Accept this. If shit sucks, YOU MUST CHANGE IT, no one will come to save you.
2.) Write your goals out: What’s the worst that could happen? 10 minutes gone? The best that could happen? You get what you want.
2.5) Write good goals: “I want to be happy” is vague. Your subconscious won’t be able to help you. “I spend 30 minutes working on my music daily” is much better.
3.) Ask: put your requests out there! let your friends know, let your friends ask your friends, if there’s anything you’re looking for, I mean, hell you’re only 6-7 degrees away from Kevin Bacon, right? fucker has pretty much everything.
4/5) Optional, I like em’ Most of these tips are summaries of the basics of those two sites, but they go WAY into more detail that I have here.
CONCLUSION: This shit has worked for me. Will it work for you? Depends if you try and put in effort, really. Want to bitch at me about confirmation bias? Leave a comment, or bother me on my formspring -
“Why would you want to help me?” – Every time someone succeeds it makes this place better. every person that is aware, happy, and can make others happy is the start of a ripple effect. I love my friends, and I see that sometimes, some of them show signs of where I used to be as a person… If I can help then I’ll do what I can to help.
“Why did you wait until now to write this?” – for a long time I under the whole stupid “I can’t write well, people won’t listen, it won’t help anyone” mindset. What does it matter if no one listens? if even ONE person gets ONE idea or hell, 5 minutes of hope, then it’s more than worth the effort. maybe someday someone will find this and it’ll help them turn their life around, it costs next to nothing for me to leave it out on the internet, and It’s a solid use of my free time, in that I feel good about it.
Damn, Can’t remember the last time I’ve written so much. I must obviously feel strongly about this issue.
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